Open Letter To A Moron #1

Dear lady getting her hair cut at the same time as me,
I'm sorry that you feel that cancer research and alternative fuel sources are unimportant. However, I really doubt that scientist trying to a find a way of stopping you from going grey is an improtant task. At first I thought you might have been kidding but that fact that you KEPT talking about truly makes me understand just how stupid you truly are. Maybe one day you can convince someone close to you maybe a stuck up whore of a daughter to run for a political office of some sort and she can convince the higher ups to put off helping the starving masses and people still needing houses in New Orleans so that you can keep the some fucking hair color you vapid idiot.

yours truly,
B

Why Do We Care?

Once again sorry for the delay in posting again but I promise you I have a good one today sure to offend the mindless masses. Recently I have been getting more and more pissed off at our cultures needless obsession with celebrities' lives as well as non-celebs (Paris Hilton you know which category you are). These feelings came to a culmination the other night when I was watching the news and one of their top stories was the birth of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's twins. This is not news. This story should have been left on the cutting room floor in a giant pile that says bullshit the American public shouldn't care about but does. Everyday working at a bookstore I see masses of people buying the magazines that do nothing but publish pictures taken by overpaid paparazzi and then slap a caption under that seems to completely change what could have been happening in said picture. A famous celebrity could be walking near someone on the street or beach and this automatically becomes their secret love interest. I just don't get it why do people need a window into these peoples lives what makes them so special. As far as I'm concerned they have the easiest job in the world someone pays them millions of dollars to pretend. Shit I was doing that when I was three. I have a mass graveyard of imaginary friends to prove my expertise yet I'm still broke. I'm pretty sure the idiots who read these would pay to see anything. They are patiently waiting for the picture of George Clooney taking his morning dump and that used to be fine. When it was just in those useless braincell killing magazines I was OK with it, but the day my news broadcast starts telling me that a Miss Universe contestant falling on her ass is more important than a fucking war going on or the presidential race taking place I get a little peeved. I was watching one those morning new shows the other day and they were talking about the woman falling because of her high heels and tried to say everyone does it, it's OK. Then they showed a picture of Sarah Jessica Parker falling down in an episode of Sex and the City. That is an actor, she was acting, showing people and actor doing something they were scripted to do should not make them feel better. But it probably does sadly enough. I just don't understand why we care and if anyone can give me a reason other than "we just like to see famous people having bad things happen to them that it makes us feel more normal" I'd like to hear it. An on another note to news stations if you wonder why more and more people are getting their news from shows like the Daily Show and The Colbert Report this is why. The intelligent of the world don't care about how many times Lindsey Lohan ends up in rehab or if to over indulged celebrities are feuding. IT IS NOT NEWS!!!!!!

Who the Fuck is Jackson Pollack anyway?

OK I realize I haven't written in awhile and I'm sorry, but there were a lack of things that I wanted to write about. Have no fear though I have come up with a decent topic. I recently watched the movie Who the Fuck is Jackson Pollack, this movie just reminded me of how much I've grown to hate modern art. In this movie a elderly woman (with a foul mouth) as you can tell by the title of her documentary has found a piece of art in her garage that looks remarkably like a painting that Jackson Pollack would have painted same style and everything( if you could call it style). So this lady being somewhat impoverished decides to try and get the painting certified as a Pollack painting and cash in. The certification is where the problems begin every critic or art connoisseur she takes it to pretty much tells her that there is no way she could have a Pollack painting and everyone who even looks at it tells her its not one. Now I'm not an expert like these people but I've seen some of Pollack's so called art and in no way could one tell the difference between a Pollack and one of my paintings from when I was four years old. All Pollack ever did was throw splashes of paint at a canvas that is not art, that is making a mess. Last night I was watching Andy Rooney and he was complaining about the same thing, he even showed a "sculpture" called "Two Indeterminate Lines", now i can't do metalwork but apparently neither could this person it looked like the artist started to something decided it was to hard and just left to metal rods in a very crude spiral. Once again NOT ART. What happened to the artists of the world I remember learning about artists like Michelangelo and Monet, Renoir and Da Vinci and others that i never bothered to learned there name. They made beautiful paintings and sculptures that we still admire today. That is what I miss, beauty in art, nowadays the only visual art I like is photography because most of the time people don't fuck it up. Another artists i never got was Andy Warhol, Soup Cans in different colors really that is the most creative thing he could come up with. I went to the Museum of Modern Art once and there were these two things I saw that i just couldn't believe. The first was an statue of a woman (I think) squatting taking a shit, not just a normal shit mind you this turd coming out of her ass was six feet long. NOT ART! Another one was a portrait of the Virgin Mary painted in different colors of ................ wait for it .............. Shit,turd, fecal matter. I just don't get it and I don't think i ever will but until I do no that there is an elephant in an African Zoo who you can hand a brush and paint to and could still create something more visual pleasing than anything Jackson Pollack or Andy Warhol could ever do.