Beware oh Beware

For those of you who dare to siphon my gas I warn you I now have something to deter you. What might you ask could possible scare you away well I ll tell you. My guard bird. That's right my guard bird. oh he looks sweet and innocent but when provoked he will poke your eyes out and shit down the holes where they used to be. He resides in one of the shrubberies near my car i won't tell you which one but he's there lurking in the leaves when I'm at work and sitting right next to my car when I'm home. He has been currently watching my car for 4 days now marching up and down the sidewalk saving his strength for when he has to attack. He looks hungry so beware oh yes BEWARE!